That's because ugly guys a lot of them are overconfident. All of that food and laziness? They built up energy inside of them to expel it on some unsuspecting woman like myself. And actually a long time ago, fat guys for example, they were seen as royalty or people with a lot of money because obviously you can't get that fat unless you have the food to get that way and you can't get the food unless you have the money.
A long long time ago, there was a time and this was when I was still drinking, but a long long time ago there was a time when I actually remember equating big or fat guys with more success or more money. Not that I was chasing them for their money but just they come across as people that were either like directors of their companies or CEOs or people that just came from wealthy families where their families spoiled them or something. But I actually remember feeling that way a long time ago, about fat or big big guys. Because obviously you can't get that big and have enough time and energy to get that big unless you have the time and energy and money to do so.
I've unfortunately had the unpleasurable experience of being chased by a really gross big type guy that was some guy that was nasty guy from his office. But now, I just reject. And I've allowed myself to do so without feeling guilty because I don't want to be pressured into dating somebody that I don't want to date or somebody that's going to corrupt me or try to corrupt me or somebody that's going to be gross around me and stuff like that.
Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support.
I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized.
he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that.
he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened.
he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence.
i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me
i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction.
after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly.
things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it.
we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe …
our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far?
this has upset me so much its hard to even function.
I want to be able to date a really gorgeous guy without feeling suppressed or restrained from being myself. I really want to feel that and I really want my next boyfriend hopefully really gorgeous, to accept me with all of everything that I have. You know what I mean like all of my flaws or all of my corks or whatever. I have been able to feel really comfortable around a really gorgeous guy? But I still feel a little bit trained because I'm scared because I feel like the guy is going to reject me for someone else because he happens to be so gorgeous. And so he obviously has choices if he's handsome. But I want to be able to like be myself around a really gorgeous guy because I know that's a challenge for me and it is a challenge for me because sometimes I do get scared of gorgeous guys. Only because I feel like I'm going to like them and then they're going to see something about me that they don't like and then you know what I mean? So my challenge is is to be able to just be myself around them and I just really wish that they would just still love me anyway. That may or may not be asking too much. I don't know but I just don't want to feel like repressed or whatever it's called around a gorgeous boyfriend. I don't want to feel like I can't be myself. But that's not going to be a reason why I'm going to go out with an ugly guy but I want to be able to like talk to a gorgeous guy the same way that I talk to an ugly guy. Because the ugly guys, a lot of girls like me, we tend to be more open and you know talkative and ourselves. And I wish I could talk to the gorgeous guy that in the same way that I do with some ugly guys. But then again, the fact that some gorgeous guys do not react the same way that ugly guys do when I am being myself. That's better than two is because they seem to react differently. And some of them don't like it when a girl is being too over the top? And they would rather have a very mellow type.
